Health Scare

I am slightly irritated when people say in response to bad news, "Well, at least you have your health." It's true, though. Not much else matters if that fails.

J and I are hypochondriacs with addictions to Mayo Clinic's website and webmd. Terribly unhealthy, because their symptom checker makes a runny nose out to be cancer, but it's our hobby. This is also an undesirable trait that we will undoubtedly pass onto our children, but I'm hoping that one of them will become a doctor just so I have someone who will take my many calls about my sniffles in my old age. My hypochonria comes from my experience with my dad who died of lung cancer when I was 20. When I was 16, his eye started turning inward, he went to every doctor available and had a myriad of treatments before a tumor was found on his optic nerve. He had radiation and went into remission. I went to college. When I was at the end of my sophomore year, he relapsed into lung cancer, which killed him in about 7 months. This was a great tragedy for many reasons, but particularly so in our family's case, mostly because mi madre is, to say the least, an unconventional parent, and we didn't realize how weird our situation was until he died. We were lucky to have him as long as we did. J's hypochondria is a family tradition, from what I can tell, though both his parents are cancer survivors and it likely stems from those experiences.

On Friday, J woke up achy and had some swelling in some extremities. He saw a friend of the family who is a doctor on Saturday, who prescribed CIPRO, which is a heavy duty antibiotic. On Sunday, his limb pain became worse and by Monday morning, he was having a hard time gripping the toothpaste tube and couldn't pick up the babies. We stupidly and arrogantly, did not have a primary care physician. It took me a solid hour and 1/2 to find a doctor who would see us and run some tests. Yes, we thought about the ER, but given our experiences there (it's like the sick room at Ellis Island) I really wanted to at least have a doc refer us for testing. So, I finally found a reputable doctor who would see us, though she is a partner of a physician whose sister happens to be our neighbor who called ahead for us (FINDING A DOCTOR SHOULD NOT REQUIRE A PERSONAL CONNECTION FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. WHAT KIND OF WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN? I don't know what the solution to health care and providing it as a right and not a privilege is. It is VERY expensive and I do think that it is very difficult to tell people when and if they should continue treatment for chronic conditions, etc., among many, many other issues, but we should really think about this issue. Requiring hospitals to take in all indigent and underinsured patients for sinus infections in their emergency rooms does not make any sense. I know nothing about this issue other that what I read. I'm sure that I am unaware of the many problems with providing health care on a different basis other than tying it to one's job, but I do think that it is a subject that I would like to turn my advocacy talents toward. I don't know how exactly, but perhaps that's my new career. Giving that some thought.) I digress. Anyway, yesterday afternoon, with J unable to open a car door, we finally get to the doctor. She spends a good deal of time with us (Susu came to sit with the kiddos) and took blood and urine tests. To make a very long story short, he's fine and is suffering from a difficult and weird virus. Some of his tests indicated a higher enzyme than preferred in his liver, but the doctor thought that might be related to his virus. He's going back next week to be retested and to make sure that all is well.

I tell this story to update everyone but also to say that life without J would not be worth living. He made me believe in love again and gave me a family, for which I will be forever grateful. My utmost wish is that we both live a very long time and see these kiddos grow up and bounce our grandchildren on our knees. J has stayed home for 2 days with this illness, which is unheard of in his world. I don't think he's taken a sick day in the whole time we've been together. In the picture, J in his resting phase, playing his video game (Yes, he's a gamer. Sony Playstation is his current fave, I think he's into college football now. But, he only plays it after the kiddos go to bed. He calls it his alone time.)At least we have our health.

The Guilt of the Motherhood

In addition to recycling more, reducing my road rage, and not cussing, in my quest to be a better person, I am trying to reduce my tendency to be judgmental. I get it from my mother. Yes, I would tell her that, so I do not write 'out of school.' Boy, was I wrong about stay-at-home moms. I always sneered at the mommies at home as I rushed off to work in the mornings. "Lucky sons o'....." I had no idea. Staying at home with the kiddos is the greatest conflict. I feel guilty being home, I feel guilty when I don't read to the twins, I feel guilty for letting Jack climb on his jungle gym with only one eye on him, I feel guilty about wanting to go back to work and then I panic about how and who will take care of them if I go back. Staying at home is tough, emotionally and physically exhausting. I don't miss the gut worry when I am away from them or the desperate panic if I'm on a plane and there's terrible turbulance, but generally speaking, I miss being part of the larger working world.

It's weird. Most people I encounter laud the fact that I'm taking some time off to be with the kiddos, but in the next breath say, "Gosh, all that education. Wasted." Or "Well, what did you think would happen?" Or, "If you were working, you'd probably be at the Cards-Cubs game right now!" If there is one topic that everyone has an opinion on, it's child rearing and mothers. I'm taking myself out of the conversation and worrying only about my own flock, but I'm also not going to judge other mothers, be they working outside the home or not. This is a heavy enough load to hoe already.

I am happy to report that Jack seems to have passed the biting, hitting, shoving phase. Yes, I know, it's just one of those things, but it was quite upsetting. I'm reading a discipline book recommended by our pediatrician, 1-2-3 Magic. It's genius. We had a quiet 4th and stayed here. Aunt Emmy came into town and we had a bbq, etc.

In the pictures, Jack cuddles with Brooke and Caroline, Brooke and Caroline cuddle, Daddy tries to comfort the twinnies, Aunt Emmy feeds Caroline and Nana with all her grandbabies. Happy Tuesday

Dracula's Mommy

Parenting is a tough gig, it goes without saying. Jack is in a nursery school class and over the last two weeks, has gone from being a teacher's pet to shoving, biting and kicking his classmates. I am printing out this blog so that the children have a momento of our life, I mention this so that when they have issues with their own children they can have this little bit of advice. So....in my limited experience, I think that Jack is mad about the twins, or rather, the decreased attention since their arrival. I guess. Though we work very hard at making sure he's getting enough attention. Plus, he's officially a "strong willed" child. Sigh. This shouldn't be much of a shock given his parents, but it is a little upsetting. He has also been kicking and biting me and his sisters. And he's really a very, very gentle soul. Parenting experts say that aggression is really fear or anxiety and that this too shall pass. I really yelled at him today, to my great chagrin, but the upside is that he had a great day in school today and received the STAR of the WEEK award for such behavior improvement. He also got to be the line leader, which made him proud. Living with patience and compassion is hard. Here's hoping this little phase is over. In the picture, Jack in time out, yet again. Time out for scratching his sister's arm, not for watercoloring his face. Time out reserved for violent acts.

Road Trip

In the great American tradition of the summer road trip, we headed south this weekend to J's family's favorite lake, Bull Shoals. Just south of the Missouri border in Arkansas, it really is an unspoiled, lovely lake. We saw our cousins and Nana and Mike. The kiddos were, for the most part, great in the car, though we had several breakdowns. There was, as to be expected, some family drama, but overall, only one walk out during dinner, so I consider that a success. Jack rode on the innertube with his cousins and Daddy, we were all so proud. No fear. The twinnies took a boat ride and given the rather high heat index, a very cautious dip in the lake. J had a great time driving (or piloting? Not fluent in lake lingo) the boat the second day, Caroline was his second in command. J was a trooper and barbequed for the family both nights and hosted the second night. He also drove all the way home, practically, which was a rest for me. All in all, a good escape for a few days. We're back to the grind today.

Father's Day

Those who know me well know that I have a theory, developed in part by our former nanny, that videogames have ruined our generation of men. I say it halfway kidding and halfway not, but really out of frustration of the boatload of work that comes with motherhood. All in all, my kids have a great, great dad. He plays, reads books, comes home, earns a living, laughs and cries with them. We have our disputes, yes, but I am deeply grateful that I and my kids have J as our partner and dad. Great blessings abound. In memory of my own great dad, I am slightly sad this Father's Day, but because he missed seeing his grandkids, which would have been a great joy, particularly Jack. He wanted Emily to be a boy so badly he painted the nursery blue and painted footballs all over her crib. (Not to worry, she ended up being the favorite.)
We have had a busy couple of weeks. Jack has gone back to nursery school and though I believe we are developing a summer cold, has done much better going and enjoying school this time around. The twins reached the 6 month mark! CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT. The baby angels sleep from 8-11 p.m., when they take their last feeding and then rock sold from 11 p.m. to 5:30 or so. Life is getting better readers. Our great Grandma visited very briefly on a trip out west, but got to meet the twins, which was a great treat and a joy.
In the pictures, J reads to Brooke and Jack, Jack and J at the zoo, Great Grandma and Jack and my favorite shots....Brooke sleeping in her bed, she always sleeps on her side like this, too cute...and Caroline sleeping in her stroller. It's off to the pool on this hot Friday!

Good Friends & Good Times

Our dear friend Harriet visited us this weekend while J was away at an overnight golf tournament. We were thrilled! We spent a lot of time admiring Jack and the twins and getting reacquainted.
What else is going on? More of the same.....thinking about business options for me, J practices law, the kiddies grow and are adorable. I am in month 3 of staying home and I do enjoy it, though it is a VERY different lifestyle. It is a mere hiatus, but hard to think about the right career with little ones. There must be a flexible and challenging option somewhere. I am not happy unless obsessing about something!
In pictures, Auntie Harriet with the twinnies, Brookie and Caroline get a little exercise, Jack in the sculpture garden near our house, Brookie on the back porch in her hat. The midnight and last feeding of the night approaches....bonne nuit....

Time Honored Traditions

Or, "How to entertain small children on a Sunday." I don't know about other parts of the world, but around here, we are big into feeding the ducks. Any ducks, with stale bread. We think it's great fun and the kids think it is hilarious. I don't know why. Nonetheless, we all do it and enjoy it.

These pictures are a few weeks old, but Daddy and Jack feed ducks, a rare sighting of Mommy and Jack feeding the ducks, Brooke with Daddy in the morning, Caroline during the 'witching' hour (Miss C cries from 5-6 p.m. every night. Yes, EVERY NIGHT. It could be a little colic. We don't know. The only thing that stops her is if I walk her around the kitchen. You understand that this is difficult as I fix dinner and tend to two other children. Sigh.) and Brooke with her favorite teether, Daddy's finger.

This is my second attempt at a posting, I was writing on how we are all fine and healthy, calmly enjoying the night. Then Jack turned off my computer by flipping the power switch. And we start all over again. Patience, grasshopper, patience. The business of gathering lobbying clients continues, today was a Springfield trip. It's right there, I can virtually see the potential.....just need one of these guys to send a contract! Do not despair, the entrepreneurial spirit is alive and well in Illinois. Maybe not for long, but for today at least. Happy Wednesday. Our friend and Brooke's godmother Harriet visits tomorrow. We are overcome with joy!