First Day at School

J and I took Jack for his first day of school today. It was exciting, but a little sad as well. As J said as we drove away, "It's the end of an era." And it is. Our little boy is off in the real world of nursery school. He is in Miss J's class and he has 8 classmates. They all get a comment sheet on their day...."How did I feel today?" "How was my behavior?" "How much did I eat?" and "Did I rest?" Jack got a "happy and content," "played well with peers, listened to teachers and kept hands and feet to self," "ate most of his food," and "rested, no nap." He did cry when we left, but went back to playing within a few minutes. J's secretary said that the real test will be his reaction when we take him back the next time. Miss J said when I picked him up, "I have never heard a 2 year old talk so much. He just talked to us all day." Well, he comes from a LOONG line of chatters and advocates of one kind or another, it's inevitable. All in all, a big success.

Next week I am setting up my website and it will be the last week that we have our nanny on a full time basis. I'm actually really happy about it. I'll have her come two days so that I can work on my consulting business, but I feel very good about taking over the primary care of the children. She's a great nanny and we've been really lucky to have her, but I am really excited to have this time with the kids and to spend some time doing things my way. The corporate world is great and afforded us many, many luxuries, but this limited step away from it is really feeling ok these days. It's certainly not forever and I will go back if my business doesn't work out, but it's good to get some distance.

The twins are doing really well. Brooke had a rough day and cried a lot, I didn't get a good picture of her. Caroline is always grumpy around 5 p.m., I think she might have a little colic that kicks in around that time of day. It's certainly nothing terrible like the three hours of crying other babies have, but she does get really upset everyday around 5. Sigh. I brought a swing from downstairs up today, it at least got her to stop screaming.

In the pictures, Jack and his backpack and in the welcome area of his school. (They start the day in the gym with lots of scooters and cars.) Jack feeding our dog with nine lives Cheetos on the deck while I was cooking dinner (ah.....silence is never a good sign.) And Caroline in her swing.

Mini-Mes

Thought I'd offer a compare and contrast.....Jack is in the "Single" shirt, Brooke is the sad Carmen Miranda. Jack is about 4 months old in his picture....the twins are will be 4 months old in a couple of weeks. Jackie and Brooke look so much alike!

In the Easter picture, Brooke is on the left. We tried, without success, to get a picture with all of them together. Well, we got a few, but Jack is dashing out of most of them or one of the girls is screaming. I don't know how we'll ever get a family portrait!

Well, I gave my notice at work. They were very understanding and the like, told me I can come back, stay in touch, etc. So, it went as well as could be expected. Wish that I could work part time, but so be it. I simply do not feel comfortable leaving the twins and Jack with one person and orchestrating a host of people to come in......it just didn't feel right. So, I am now in charge and will be at home with the kiddies for most of the week. I am working on developing my consulting business and it looks like I am going to sign a client this week. So, I am going to work from my home office on Thursdays and Fridays, with some Wednesdays in Springfield when necessary. All in all, though, I think this plan is going to work out ok.

This is a big week as Jack is going to nursery school for the first time this Tuesday. He'll go from 9:30 to 2 on Tuesdays through July. He is very proud of his Elmo backpack and school supplies. We still need to get him a nap mat, apparently these are available at Penneys. How I detest the mall.

Will let you know how school goes!

Get Busy

In the span of a couple of days two different people said to me, "At the end of the day, you have to either get busy living or get busy dying." My long time mentor and most admired career woman told me she regretted not having spent more time with her family and that she likes having the time to work out. I got a lobbying contract referral and two other leads. A friend and former colleague said to learn from him and know that putting one's time 'in' is not always the path to happiness nor success. I guess if I'm looking for a sign, I got a few.

(I don't know why I'm so skeptical.....when I was contemplating getting a divorce that any casual observer could see was a NECESSITY, a chatty marriage counselor sat down next to me on an airplane from Louisville to St. Louis and talked to me about my situation. I never, ever talk to anyone on a plane, even in an emergency landing. Then he followed up by mailing me books to support my decision. And there are still people who don't believe there is a God.)

I am seriously contemplating quitting my job in favor of more time with the kiddies and to give being a lobbyist consultant a try. If I could make the contract lobbying gig work, I set my own hours, it's pretty lucrative and I would work hard January though May, but have the rest of the year to be in charge of carpooling, etc. But on the other hand.....do people do this? Ahhhh.....the risk gene not hardy here. Nonetheless, the worst thing to happen is in January if I have no clients and no prospects, I find another job. I can't fathom going back to my old position, with my old boss, all the old issues and problems, plus now the added guilt of two more babies left behind. But I would miss my friends, salary, benefits and sense of purpose. Hard choices. I'm 80/20 there, have to check out J's medical insurance, etc.

All good friends know that I have struggled with these career issues in a self indulgent way for years, so I will try and not bore you with additional nonsense.

The babies are doing so well. They are really little butterballs now and always want to be held. Brooke appears to be the calmer one these days; Caroline likes things a certain way, hers. In the pictures above, Jack plays at Monkey Joes and in his play room. He is a streaker and will strip down to his diaper whenever the opportunity presents itself. We're trying to ignore it, as parenting books believe that shaming for stripping behavior will marr their body sense for life. Jack reads "Five Little Monkeys" and Caroline gives us a smile.

Caroline's godmother and our dear friend Carolle is a cartoon....www.mslivingwell.org to view it and learn more about MS.

Three weeks to go......

Great panic ensued this week as I grappled with the reality that I am scheduled to go back to work on April 1. I really do not want to go, but the financial realities are such that I should. And the struggles of the work-life balance continue. Luckily, I do have people at work actually building me a flex/part time schedule or at least attempting to, which is unheard of in my world. I am a pioneer for even suggesting such a thing as part time, but I do hope that it comes to pass. So far as childcare, we are having our current nanny take on our twins and hiring help for Jack and Andrew for two days of the week. Andrew is Jack's buddy and our nanny's son, they have been raised together.....Jack was 6 months old when Susan came to work with us and Andrew was 5 months old. So, they are fast friends and mischief makers, as you may imagine. The situation has actually been a good one for Jack, he gets the benefit of having an at-home nanny, but also has socialization built in. I feel better that Susan is going to stay with us and that even with part time help coming to assist with the boys, we'll have some consistency. I conducted interviews today and I think we have at least one prospect.

Nana is visiting from Florida. We all went to dinner tonight with her and on the way home, Jack said, "Nana. I love her." The kid is too cute. J and his dad had a very good week as they won a huge case, a client of theirs under a mountain of fire from the US Attorney's office actually walked when he was facing a 30 year prison sentence. Caroline and Brookie continue their cuteness. They are really starting to coo and talk to us now. In the pictures, Jack and Andrew hang out and watch "Diego," Jack studies a seed packet (we are attempting to nurture some carrot, radish and zinnia seedlings), Caroline smiles and the twinnies nap together, or at least Brooke does.

Brookie and Caroline Smile

My college friend Wendy says that babies finally smile when you are at your wit's end of taking care of them....you know, for encouragement. Brooke and Caroline started smiling last week, but really kicked it into high gear just in the last few days. Brookie is the one really laughing, Caroline is slightly more subdued at this point. Jack is taking his job as a big brother quite seriously recently....in this photo he's telling Brooke that he has a "Yellow AND green dinosaur."

I am so tired I nearly fell asleep waiting for these pictures to upload, but in brief.....J's trial is over and while it was hard fought, he lost. Not without great presentation though. I sat in on his closing argument and, dear reader, he's really VERY good. A pleasure to watch....it was particularly interesting to watch the jury, they were entralled. I am still negotiating my part time/consulting situation. I am also contemplating taking the rest of this year to raise the babies and then get back into things next legislative session, or January 2010. Our nanny hunt has stalled and we're struggling with that issue altogether. However, the tribe is thriving and well, and that's really all that matters.

Fat Tuesday

Greetings from our sleepy Midwestern town, home to the second largest Mardi Gras celebration in the country. Laissez le bonne temps roulez! Aunt Emmy visited us this weekend and had a chance to go to the parade and party in Soulard. We attended a neighbor's Mardi Gras party and had one too many Hurricanes....demon rum hits again. (Note that in our current lifestyle, two was considered too many....)

Apologies for the lack of blog updates, I had no idea friends were actually reading this! Thank you for checking in with us. I have been working on a part time work proposal and also a consulting firm concept, which has taken up most of my meager free time. I am hoping to have some sort of resolution soon, I have about another month before I am scheduled to head back to the office in some capacity. However, I did get a some what positive response initially from the head of our department, so I am hopeful that we'll work something else out. Now I just have to find another fabulous nanny to help us out.

J is at trial this week, retrying a case that ended in a mistrial over two years ago. He picked the jury yesterday and is probably giving his opening statement as I write this. It is a murder trial, high pressure, etc., but I do think that he enjoys putting on his case and will see this week as exciting once it's over! He's one of the best I've ever seen, I hope to see his closing statement later this week.

The twins had their 2 month doctor's visit this weekend. Caroline is 10 lbs., 11 oz., Brooke is 10 lbs., 12 oz., they are nearly the same size exactly! They are in the 50th percentile for full term infants, which puts them above 50th percentile for preemies, so their progress is fantastic. They are doing really well, though still sleeping in their baby papasans. Oh, well.

Jackson is doing really well and starting to enjoy being a big brother. We have been taking him to a "Monkey Joes," which is basically a warehouse filled with bouncers and inflatable slides. For the $5 admission price, a better time cannot be had! I am working on scheduling swimming lessons and other activities for the summer.

In the pictures, the twins sleep together, Aunt Emmy comforts two crankies, the twins post-bath and Jack reads me a bedtime story.

Winter Wonderland

Last week landed us with a 7 inch snowfall....nice to look at, not fun to remove. Jack went on his first sledding experience above, please ignore my husband's plumber's crack. J sleeps with the baby angels. Jack is talking to 'his' babies and teaching them the colors of their butterfly mobile. This picture is the first one where I have all three of them in the frame, I think it's just priceless.

The early days with the twins have not been easy and Jack has had some issues adjusting. But I received an email from an old college friend this weekend.....he and his wife are having fertility problems, which is so hard. I remember back to those bad old days for me and it is truly hard to believe that I've come from a terrible relationship without any hope for a family to having three kids and a wonderful husband within a six year time span. I had a lot of arguments in those days about whether or not having a family is worth the sacrifice, etc., etc., what is the right life choice? I made a risky one to go it alone and chose the family and it worked. And I was right, it is the most rewarding experience I've ever had. So, my fingers are crossed for my friends. Family life is a long journey, but it's a rich one.