Jackson frustrates me so much sometimes I really want to cry. He still needs a nap or he loses his mind by 4:30 and has a complete melt down. Of course, he fights his nap every day. It has now been an hour and 20 minutes of arguing about taking a nap, going potty, throwing fits, asking for snacks, asking for a video (NO), asking for new pillows (? Apparently we can get these at Target, so I have been informed.) I hear silence upstairs, but I am untrusting. He's probably just rigging up a trap for me. Negotiation on behalf of corporations, easy. Three year olds? I am defeated. It is so frustrating because I have this time off, I want to spend time doing fun things, like going to the park (who am I kidding, it's raining here.) and we never have time to do these things because I spend 2 hours a day trying to get the kid to nap. And if he doesn't nap, the rest of the afternoon just trying to engage him. IN ANYTHING. Without a nap, he unable to receive any sort of comfort, be that in the form of a snack, TV show, painting, building with blocks. You name it, it just doesn't happen. And so, my fantasy of staying home with the kiddos, is, among other fantasies, shattered. Not to mention that Jack becomes the center of all things and the little babies don't get enough attention.
Ah, the worries. I am exhausted. And, for those readers I don't speak to frequently, we didn't land our first client. They went with another firm, which, of course, casts all sorts of self doubt into work. Ugh. Honestly, I was a bit shocked. Too confident. Why don't I just stick with my general downtrodden view? Things are much easier to take. Ah, well. Try, try, try again. We are under consideration by my old employer, should hear something back by week after Thanksgiving. Though I don't really want to enter that fray again. But, beggars cannot be choosers. Footsteps upstairs. Kid is staying at preschool for afternoon session tomorrow.
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